“Dear Boss-
I wanted to let you know that I have been working diligently on ways to improve my efficiency and productivity. When I work through lunch (and there fore have to eat at my desk) I often find myself wasting valuable work time trying to figure out how to clean up all of the crumbs I drop on the floor. I have some wonderful news that could help to alleviate the problem.
My dog has happily agreed to come to work with me, sit under my desk and pick up all of the crumbs that may fall onto the floor.
Expert crumb picker upper.
She excels at this type of work and has had years of experience. Additionally, we are more than happy to carpool to work and to park in the same parking stall.
Sincerely,
Your Employee
